The Other Okie Dokie

For the first time

2011-04-18T19:55:00.000-07:00

... In almost six months, I have finally completed a finished piece of serious art.
Most of me feels indifferent, but part of me feels accomplished and slightly regretful that I haven't been doing more in the last months. What to do, what to do...
School was great, don't get me wrong, but it really sucked the joy out of making art. It spewed me out more learned and cultured, but dang.... all I've wanted to do since is pass out in a hammock on the beach surrounded by empty beer bottles Corona commercial style. I guess I need a beach, and a hammock. I've been living my days out lately through the lives of the Travel channel hosts, right now through Anthony Bourdain. The episode I'm watching while typing this takes place in Spain, where my niece Jasmin happens to be doing a study abroad program. She says she's not a huge fan of the food, but Anthony Bourdain gets a gastro morning wood thinking about Spanish food. Hmm.
Instead of drawing, getting a job, being responsible, I've been cooking and making my own travel channel food creations... nothing fancy because I'm too lazy for now. Hopefully, this lazy streak will change shortly, because I like good food, and I enjoy not being a poor bastard too.
One day, perhaps next week. Wish me luck.

Playing Mute

2011-02-12T22:45:00.000-08:00

Buongiorno lost and forgotten blog,
my how I have not missed you.

It's been a few months since I've posted on zie blogs, and even longer when it's been voluntary. I talk myself into thinking I have nothing to contribute, nothing to say, but this is a big, fat, ugly, tumorous, infected, congealed, gluttonous, jiggly lie.
Of course I have things to say, things that I think about. I'm thinking all the time, even if it's going slower than L.A. traffic over a bowl of coffee, it's there. The fact is, and more obvious as of late, I'm just a lazy S.O.B. that doesn't like taking the time to catalog these fleeting thoughts I later regret not writing down. Part of the procrastinating burden to bear, I guess.
Usually it takes place as passenger. 20 years old, and I still don't have a drivers license. I think I'm supposed to feel terrible about this like I've failed a significant rite of passage or something, but I don't. Maybe if I had an out of control case of herpified rabies contracted from my mother's evil dogs (which could plausibly happen) and was the only one around to drive, I might break down and visit the worse of the hells that is the DMV and actually get a license. So far this hasn't happened, and voilà guess who still doesn't drive.
With that said, I get a lot of time being passenger either as carpool, clever sidekick, or another troll victim of public transit. Here I have ample time to think, and am aware of just how much I am thinking, but alas, how to apply this immediately to writing and not be a rude, determined I can't think of a good enough insult to label what I'd be lugging a notebook around everywhere is the question. An old professor of mine used to go on tangents all the time in class, and one time during a lecture on marxist art theory, he talked about a conversation he'd had with a friend at a bar. They had been boozin' a bit, feeling fine and letting the philosophical talk that often comes in that state flow through them just the same. After awhile, his friend asked, " What is your favorite thing to do in this life that brings you the most satisfaction?"
And with a good deal of pondering, really searching for the most accurate sage answer that is expected, he replied, "Well, I love to think."
Well, wise sage professor, so do I.

I think a lot, about the past, present, sometimes future, but mostly the past and nonexistent possibilities. What if's pop up frequently, as do gratifying musings and filthy disgusting things a former church girl shouldn't even know about. Ah, the filthy disgusting and downright nasty things... not bad at all.
An interview with Howard Stern I listened to a few weeks ago touched on this subject regarding public personas, personal lives, and the give and take of the two. Howard Stern, admittedly, has a shock-value, vulgar public persona that is fascinated with sex and oddities the average person on main-street USA would find scandalous, but also morbidly curious to listen about.
On the flip side, this raunchy sexually liberal thinking dude has had a pretty tame personal life free of the kinky desperate outbursts and scandals that certain straight laced, sexually suppressed individuals have(here's looking at you Catholic Priests and members of the Republican Party.) In other words, balance is key.

So, with this balance, I think I do alright. Nothing to worry about yet, I suppose.
And, to get to the point after all this mumbo jumbo, I'd like to write more. Get this thinking game rolling and actually document some of this cripe from time to time.... if only it didn't take up my time. Discipline, by golly! I'll try to make this happen.

Ta-Ta for now, the faja is sleep eating again and aside from an excuse to stop typing, I might save a man from indigestion.

Some Poetry for your Coca Cola

2010-07-16T17:36:00.001-07:00

I wish I was a true soul, a new soul without a heart to wander with.

I wish I were dark and deep
within air that's thick with leaves that blow
in rhythms that glow in what is unseen,
I wish I were between
the black that makes the air sweet with rain
and makes you feel at peace with mystery and fear,
at home in the unknown,
high on wine or love that doesn't know love,
I want to feel lost but safe in the mystery-
to feel the heat of summer nights
and its thickness supple in my skin,
high within me.

I wish it were in me to be more than the night,
to feel the stark contrast of brisk mornings
with glazed sleepiness over coffee new as snow
with grass awakened by dawn,
I wish I was on a routine,
with pens and paperclips,
paintbrushes neatly aligned in the cleanliness of a room washed in sunlit windows
with plants as my furniture,
I wish that I could be content enough with that.

To not find solace
in embrace of mystery and desperate affection from the equally lost,
with music being the only friend,
I wish I could not wish anymore,
to just be and to know,
to find affection in what I sow, not eat cake.
Drink dark deep beer to the bottom of a glass into the hollowness of myself,
I wish I could be myself
instead of letting the levity of alcohol play puppeteer.

I wish I were here,
to appreciate the feel of my shoes,
the sounds of tinkling piano,
to feel an inner beat that steals the fullness of my heart and need,
to make me move, to move and be at home in being alone.
To be ok with glad and sadness.
To be ok with all my badness,
I want to encompass my displacement and my soul's pressure building like a balloon
and whisper it out into a feeling contrived and true,
deliver it to you.

The feeling of a compliment,
the feeling of flattery to your lips,
irreplaceable affection unique and self-aware,
I want, I need, I must, I cant.
Never and always.
I am no longer.
I is replaceable and impersonal.
I is universal and all mine.
But it isn't.
It is yours.
I am yours.
Tomorrow is years and yesterday.
It is familiar, irreplaceable, a glimpse of all, a passing thought.
I choose nothing.
I am.
I do.
What can I say about this?
I can't about anything.

I am insignificant to all, for time will weather me down to dust, you to dust, this to dust.
My affections are sighs lost in a second amongst infinity.
They are priceless.
Nothing and everything.
Like brushing my fingertips in the palm of your hand while you dream.
I don't exist.

some random art I've done lately

2010-02-26T18:52:00.000-08:00

some are from an abstract photo assignment, some are just goofy. I doubt I need to differentiate the two.

Post-Post-Post Modernist Philosophy Mumbo Jumbo with a couple of fried eggs thrown in...

2010-02-26T16:27:00.000-08:00

Hello Folks,
been awhile since I've posted anything, that's just how it goes sometimes though.
Lately my time has been spent working on required school stuff and the resulting time left over has found better things to do than this, mostly the basic survival requirements.
I have been spending a great deal of the time thinking though, about my art, mostly future art that I'm not doing.
Slowly I've been going down the rabbit hole that is comics, Dan Clowes and Chris Ware have been the two most worth mentioning.
To fit in this exposure to art, my biggest indulgence for free time lately has been getting a jog in or two to eventually work myself back into shape with the immediate goal of running 5 miles straight. As part of this goal to distract my mind from stopping mid-run constantly, I've been reading comics while I'm on the treadmill. It works pretty well, and I also get to think about other people's art, comics, and how it might inspire mine.
Nothing has really been made yet as a result though.
I've been thinking about internal monologue a lot. That is an aspect of Dan Clowes and Chris Ware's work that I really like, and how free of bullshit their work is.
That is something I've been thinking about with my photography lately, too. Revealing the Bullshit and art's subjectivity.
Especially fine art. I think that is tinged with a little cynicism on my part, but I do think I'm onto something.
What is high art, low art, relevant or absolutely atrocious? I have my opinions, but that's all they are. Opinions.
Now the impending job is to articulate them properly and maybe make some sort of a "statement" that will "prove" my art work as thought provoking relevant crap.
Evoke the side-affects of art, damn it.
I think that shall be my next project.

Day in the Life of Transit mockup

2009-12-07T17:17:00.000-08:00

In the correct order of appearance...

Lou mockup

2009-12-07T17:05:00.000-08:00

In backwards order of appearance...

Van Gogh mockups

2009-12-07T16:49:00.001-08:00

not in order of appearance...

Mock-ups

2009-11-18T14:31:00.000-08:00

Here are two pages from the mock-up I am doing for my story of Lou, a boy who daydreams of walking in the grass late at night but never does and instead waits until he is a middle aged guy whose life has past him by and where he finally realizes that he can't think of anymore excuses not to act on this daydreamed impulse, so he finally does.
I have completed the writing and storyboard for this short story and am now working on the dummy for it.
I am also currently working on the storyboard for Jack, and have assembled a dummy to start working on for this story as well.

Studying and such...

2009-10-13T21:00:00.000-07:00

Things have been-a-busy this last week, and a big part of it has been researching and brainstorming for the stories I'm working on. Trips to the library, a comic book shop in Ashland, and reading up on literature have kept me busy and so far I've compiled a bit of inspiration:
Movies-
1.) Amelie
I really like the stylization and narration of the movie, plus the French theme is appropriate for my story about Jack/Jacque
2.) An American In Paris
French theme is appropriate, mostly as a guide to the stereotype of Paris; I also enjoy the narration and subtle snarkiness of Oscar Levant.
3.) Broken Flowers
The balance of humor, awkwardness and discontent fits the mood of the character Lou
4.) Sideways
GREAT mood for Lou character, and for scene changes throughout his routine
5.) Benny & Joon
inspiration perhaps for the character Anne, quirky inspirational character development
6.) Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
bombshell character studies for Jack/Jacque study
7.) Rear Window
the isolation and creative solutions for boredom may provide ideas for character Lou
8.)Les Femmes
character study for Jack/Jacque character

9.)The Triplets of Belleville
Animated stylization of characters, frame changes, and examining visual narration opposed to written

10.)La Vie En Rose

French theme

11.)Little Miss Sunshine

Visual narration, and overall mood to aspire to

12.)Napoleon Dynamite

Awkward transitions by abruptly changing distance through frames instead of smoothly zooming in or out.

13.)Flight of the Conchords

Moods through music inspire me, and Flight of the Conchords gives me ideas for my pretend soundtracks I’ll give the stories to capture the mood I want them to have.

14.)Inglorious Basterds

Using Fonts to play with emotions, evoke humor, and create an overall mood

15.)Hedwig And The Angry Inch

‘Soundtrack’ compilation ideas, animation, stylization, and mood

Literature-
1.) Understanding Comics The Invisible Art by Scott McCloud

Great ideas in how to approach and combine writing and illustration to its fullest potential
2.) Adult Comics An Introduction by Roger Sabin

Ideas in how to address and tactfully/not so tactfully handle mature subject matter
3.) The Norton Anthology of English Literature The Twentieth Century vol. 2C 7th Ed.

Poetry, using minimal wording to fullest and liveliest potential
4.) The Day I Swapped My Dad For Two Goldfish by Neil Gaiman, Dave McKean

Inspiration in well crafted illustrations combined with humorous narration
5.) Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

Inspiration through well crafted simple illustrations interwoven with both humor and mature subject matter

6.)Stanzas in Meditation by Gertrude Stein

Examining word play and how they relate not only in context but also in sound

Project Proposal

2009-10-05T12:39:00.000-07:00

0.) Project Title :Project Mayhem

1.) My goal for Project Mayhem is to explore ideas concerning illustrations and approaches to their interaction with writing context and subject matter.

2.) Project Mayhem will be a series of short stories complete with illustrations. Each story will play with a children's book format but deal with subject matters bordering on being adult. Each book will focus on a carefully developed character and a story evolved around the character.

3.)The products of study for Project Mayhem will be in the form of four to five formatted short stories with illustrations, each focusing on a contrived character.

4.)Visual research for Project Mayhem will include studying works by artists such as Egon Schiele, Aubrey Beardsley, and various artists who deal with cartoons and comics.

5.)Visuals for my project will come from my illustrations and final copies of books. Progress of this will be kept in the blog, journals, and sketchbooks.

6.)During the course of Project Mayhem, it will be necessary to review and work in Photoshop and InDesign to format the stories properly. I have worked in both programs extensively in similiar projects to this, although I plan on familiarizing myself with InDesign to become more profficient on formatting. As far as illustrations are concerned, I will first be drawing and watercoloring each one by hand and then scanning them into Photoshop for further finetuning.

7.)Timeline for Project Mayhem:

October 7th- Character Mock-ups
October 21st- Stories written
Nov. 18th- Illustrations finished
Nov.30th- Stories Formatted and Photoshopped
December 4nd- Printed